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Archive for the ‘Funny Story’ Category

The Heat Miser

My brother

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So this last week was like the longest week ever. I barely remember it. I did end up at the temple with that dumb boy again and I ran a lot of errands. I found 14  WHITE poinsettia at 6 different stores. I helped spend almost 600 dollars at coach on presents for office girls.  I lived off a list of things I needed to complete and things i needed to buy. my diet was pretty much diet coke, nut’s and the different kinds of pork tenderloin we tried out. But it was worth it because this weekend was pretty much just one huge party. we had the office over to eat and play games and open all their expensive gifts and stuff. and we had a little gag gift exchange and I was not sure what to get cause I couldn’t picture myself going into some store and buying some weird gag gift. so I got… A SNAKE!!! and put it in a coach box so it would get chosen. and those of you who know me know that i am TERRIFIED of snakes. and like the whole way driving it home from the pet store I was freaking out. and I couldn’t even go in the same room that his box was in. but man was it worth it when the lady who is the most terrified of snakes opened the box. she threw it across the patio at her husband who is even more afraid of snakes and they both freaked out together and it was pretty much like magic. snakes = best gag gift ever.

The end

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Highlights

Today when I was driving home from school on Mckellips I hit NO RED LIGHTS. not one. this i some sort of amazing.

My cousins husband has a harley. He wants a new harley and she doesn’t want him to get one. She found his cash stash (they each have their own cash stash that they hide from each other and activly earch for one anothers) She says if he buys a new harley she is going to go straight to the car dealership and drive home in an Audi TT that she plans to buy with his cash stash. I cannot wait for this to happen. Also he has no idea she has this planned or that she knows the location of his cash stash.

I taught the 2 year old to say “why you so obbsessed with me?” on command

I was given a hundred dollar bill. I don’t know why.

Friday I leave for mexico. I am JAZZED.

thats all really

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Last weekend was easily the best weekend of my life. Long live the spontaneous road trip. Friday I went to Six Flags in California, and can I just say that Roller-coasters are quite possibly my favorite thing on the planet. So one of the coolest roller-coasters at the park is Tatsu.

TatsuAnd since I broke my wrist a couple of weeks ago, and I’m currently sporting a bright green cast I’m technically not allowed to ride it. Luckily I have some persistent friends, and the arm rests/hand grips are miraculously the exact same shade of green as my cast. So worth it.

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SO I’m leaving for yellowstone today which isn’t really important to this story but whatever. So ANYWAYS I’ve been listening to the new black eyed peas song alot this morning and all of a sudden I get a text message that say’s “I’m so 2008 your so 2000 and late boom boom pow”. Which you know, is part of the song…. And I’m listening to it. So I of course freak out and like search my house for friends of my little brother… I didn’t find any. Now I will just transcribe the rest of the conversation for your enjoyment.

Creeper-I’m so 2008 your so 2000 and late boom bom pow…
Kelli- Oh my gosh! Who is this!?
Creeper- No habla ingles
Kelli- That’s a Lie, you just texted me a song. Is this Brent? (my little brother who would love a trick like this)
Kelli- Also You got the Lyrics wrong it’s 3008 not 2008
Creeper- Is this EM?
*here is where I call the number. no one answers I get a message that sounds a little like brent, so I call the number on erics phone, no answer so I call brents phone and its not the same message.*

Kelli- Do I even know you?
Creeper- I think So. this is jason p your old class mate
Kelli- from what class?
Creeper-Is this robi? (remember rob guys?!)
* I am completely relieved that someone is not stalking me*
Kelli- um no He got rid of this number like 2 years ago
Creeper- Oh sorry.
Creeper- I will delete the number. Or maybe we could go see startrek today. I’m not working
*at this point I cannot believe I have practically been stalked AND asked on a date by one of robs old friends. another one called and told me my voice sounded hot. so cool I know*
Kelli- um I’m going to yellowstone today. sorry
Creeper- oh ok
Creeper- sorry again
Creeper- Have fun friend
Creeper- dont feed the bears
*so now the guys trying to flirt me up… AWKWARD*

THE END

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I LOVE Sharks

And really, who wouldn’t want a shark coffee table?!

 

sharkblue

Heh. If I ever have $3000 to blow on a coffe table you will know exactly which one I bought

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I just tried to feed my rabbit a carrot. Apparently shes not that into carrots… (what a weird rabbit). So not wanting to be wastefull I placed the carrot back in our carrot holder. Heh yes I am 1/2 my fathers side of the family. I might tell my mom next week. She’ll be horrified.

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