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Posts Tagged ‘funny’

Pocahontas/Avatar

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So this last week was like the longest week ever. I barely remember it. I did end up at the temple with that dumb boy again and I ran a lot of errands. I found 14  WHITE poinsettia at 6 different stores. I helped spend almost 600 dollars at coach on presents for office girls.  I lived off a list of things I needed to complete and things i needed to buy. my diet was pretty much diet coke, nut’s and the different kinds of pork tenderloin we tried out. But it was worth it because this weekend was pretty much just one huge party. we had the office over to eat and play games and open all their expensive gifts and stuff. and we had a little gag gift exchange and I was not sure what to get cause I couldn’t picture myself going into some store and buying some weird gag gift. so I got… A SNAKE!!! and put it in a coach box so it would get chosen. and those of you who know me know that i am TERRIFIED of snakes. and like the whole way driving it home from the pet store I was freaking out. and I couldn’t even go in the same room that his box was in. but man was it worth it when the lady who is the most terrified of snakes opened the box. she threw it across the patio at her husband who is even more afraid of snakes and they both freaked out together and it was pretty much like magic. snakes = best gag gift ever.

The end

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A Post From Sadie!!

The poor blog has suffered a lot lately. Unfortunatly it’s blocked here, and so if I want to get on it I have to use a Proxy Server and they are just a pain. Not even worth the trouble, but Kelli was telling me that Zackapaloza complained that we never post anymore. So I told her I would write something and email it to her for her to post up. So here are some things that have happened since I last posted.
 
  • I went to Beijing and saw tons of the cool sites, climbed the Great Wall, walked around the Forbidden City, etc. It was awesome. There’s tons to see in Beijing, and the Silk Market is really crazy.
  • I went shopping in Shanghai and got some great knock off stuff for pretty cheap
  • Went to a Hot Pot Restarurant. I’m not sure exactly how to explain this, but it’s kind of like a Fondue restaurant only different. You sit at this table that has this huge pot of soup on a little cooker thing and then you just order random ingredients and put it in the pot and then everyone just takes what they want using their chopsticks. It’s pretty fun, but Andy (the guy who took us, Andy is his english name I don’t know his Chinese name) ordered some interesting stuff…. I’m not really sure what half of it was. Most of it was really good, but at one point he really wanted me to try this one item, and I thought it might be octopus, but he informed me that it was a part of the cow that he couldn’t say in English…. I’d rather not know.
  • Went to Haungshan (Yellow Mountain) which was really pretty, and Maddie and I found out that we were slightly under prepared for it. We were thinking it was just like a hike… but then we got there and everyone had like those huge backpacking backpacks strapped on their backs and like walking sticks and stuff. It turned out to be fun though the part of the mountain we were on wasn’t too hard, and we really liked Huangshan city.
  • A few weeks back the Jazz lost to the Rockets. Everyone here loves this fact. They won’t let me forget it. The Jazz better shape up next time we play them.
  • Last week we were invited to go to another school and teach a class. I’d forgotten what it was like that first week of school…. but I remember now. Signing english books, photos, video cameras, mobs of children all over again.
  • This week is Sports week at our school, and tomorrow Maddie and I have been “invited” to be in one of the races… can’t wait…. we’re going to look totally foolish. Espeically since neither one of us packed gym clothes so we’ll have to run it in our jeans… should be fun.
P.S. I heard Real Salt Lake won the MSL against LA and Beckham…. what the heck?! I thought they were horrible…. I was under the impression that it was sort of miraculous if they won a game at all let alone made it to the championships. So when do they start filming for the feel good flick based on a true story of the underdog soccer team?

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Fairy Tale

Kelli’s last post reminded me of this and after the thought came into my head I couldn’t help myself. This is my favorite wedding invitation ever. Enjoy.

Wedding Announcement

I’m going to go ahead and say that Mario and Peach is my favorite.

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SO I’m leaving for yellowstone today which isn’t really important to this story but whatever. So ANYWAYS I’ve been listening to the new black eyed peas song alot this morning and all of a sudden I get a text message that say’s “I’m so 2008 your so 2000 and late boom boom pow”. Which you know, is part of the song…. And I’m listening to it. So I of course freak out and like search my house for friends of my little brother… I didn’t find any. Now I will just transcribe the rest of the conversation for your enjoyment.

Creeper-I’m so 2008 your so 2000 and late boom bom pow…
Kelli- Oh my gosh! Who is this!?
Creeper- No habla ingles
Kelli- That’s a Lie, you just texted me a song. Is this Brent? (my little brother who would love a trick like this)
Kelli- Also You got the Lyrics wrong it’s 3008 not 2008
Creeper- Is this EM?
*here is where I call the number. no one answers I get a message that sounds a little like brent, so I call the number on erics phone, no answer so I call brents phone and its not the same message.*

Kelli- Do I even know you?
Creeper- I think So. this is jason p your old class mate
Kelli- from what class?
Creeper-Is this robi? (remember rob guys?!)
* I am completely relieved that someone is not stalking me*
Kelli- um no He got rid of this number like 2 years ago
Creeper- Oh sorry.
Creeper- I will delete the number. Or maybe we could go see startrek today. I’m not working
*at this point I cannot believe I have practically been stalked AND asked on a date by one of robs old friends. another one called and told me my voice sounded hot. so cool I know*
Kelli- um I’m going to yellowstone today. sorry
Creeper- oh ok
Creeper- sorry again
Creeper- Have fun friend
Creeper- dont feed the bears
*so now the guys trying to flirt me up… AWKWARD*

THE END

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So I somehow found this website where some guy has made twitter sized summaries of a bunch of different movies. Some of them are pretty good. Here are my favorites:

E.T.: Out-of-control pet causes mayhem, sadness.
TWILIGHT: Girl gives up college for stalker.
KARATE KID: Boy gains acceptance through violence.
JURASSIC PARK: Theme park’s grand opening pushed back.
HARRY POTTER: Celebrity Jock thinks rules don’t apply to him, is right.
THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS: Dangerous insurgent invades neighboring country.
BATMAN
: Wealthy man assaults the mentally ill.
BEAUTY AND THE BEAST
: Peasant girl develops Stockholm Syndrome.
MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL: British comedy troupe inadvertently creates language lab for nerds.
RATATOUILLE: Vermin infest restaurant until it is forced to close doors.
THE X-MEN: Minority group seeks overthrow of social order.

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I’ve noticed that “The Google Game” has been pretty popular on facebook lately. (Similar to the “25 Random things” fad). I learned my name is AWFUL for this game. I don’t know if you are aware (my brother has made sure I am aware), but a few years ago Sadie was one of the top pet names in America. This causes some real problems as my google game results look like this…..

Sadie likes: smelly socks
Sadie likes: to chase her tail
Sadie needs: to be walked
Sadie needs: a new saddle pad
Sadie is: a rescue dog
Sadie is: not fond of tennis balls

There are a few results about Sadie Frost, Sadie the best Belly Dancer in Denver, and a lot of baby blogs mixed in, but it seems the majority were Labradors….

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Here is a great guide to looking like Taylor Swift that I found on wiki how.

  1. Have light blond hair. As you can see from this photo, Taylor’s hair is long and blonde. So, to look like her, this is probably the key clone look-alike factor.

  2. Curl your hair. As you can see from the photos, Taylor has naturally curly hair. If you don’t, get a curling iron and curl it. Make sure to curl in sections layer by layer. Take care to make sure it looks natural and is not too tight – let the locks fall loosely. Once done curling, shake head to get the loose look. (they make it seem so easy!)

  3. Have beautiful clear skin like Taylor’s. Wash your face daily. If needed, put on “zit cream” or see your health professional if your acne is unremovable. (haha so if you can’t get rid of your acne, your screwed)

  4. Wear cowgirl style, but keep it contemporary. A cowgirl belt over a cute shirt, flowery dresses and mini skirts make a great start and don’t forget the boots – the boots are very Taylor. Taylor loves wearing sundresses with cowboy boots, and you can try putting an old denim jacket over that. Also funky jewelery like long beaded necklaces.

  5. Smile a lot. And always have clean, bright teeth. Taylor has a bright, bubbly personality and doesn’t let others bring her down. (I enjoy that they give your personality tips as well as style advice)

  6. Only wear minimal makeup. It must be natural – a little lip gloss and blush will do. Mostly pinks/peaches; try kiehls, it’s made with all natural things name of a good color is (down town peach). Taylor Swift does wear eyeliner and mascara also. you can try putting a little of that on.

TIPS

  • Don’t abandon your own style in the process of copying Taylor – adapt her look to what you already have. And don’t change who you are. Taylor wouldn’t! Just be bubbly, nice and proud of what you have! (wait… They already told you you had to be bubbly and  dress like her and now they are retracting that. This is so confusing)
  • Look for clothing in local department stores; you don’t need to spend a fortune to look a fortune. (Thats deep)
  • If you want to sing like Taylor, practice every day by jamming along to her CD. Improve your voice by joining the local choir and perhaps taking voice lessons. (hahahaha. Jam along to her CD)

I Really want to know if people actually regularly use this guide. Like seriously.  I think I ought to post a guide about how to be me. I’m sure everyone would want to read it!!

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But there are some things you just cant help. SO here you go and you should know there are far more then 5 but I’m trying to keep this series of sorts short and a little uniform.

Number 1 Dane Cook- I can hear a zillion voices telling me he isn’t funny. In fact the entire internet is yelling at me right now I just know it. But I say that guy is funny.

Number 2 Playdough Ice cream- Gross right?? I even know that it’s gross and I still like it.

Number 3 Bumper cars. I’m to old probably but those things are buckets of fun… once you figure out how to steer them properly

Number 4 Hannah Montana. More internet rage and I can hear certain people rolling their eyes. But that show is superior to every other Disney program. Even Wizards and especially Sonny With a Chance, I’ve only seen previews and one small clip but there are some things you just know. And Hannah/Miley songs are way better then either of those. I think most people just hate her cause its the thing to do… Or they find her voice extremly annoying

Number 5 The smell of bleach. That stuff smells delicious and If I didn’t know it would kill me I would totally drink it.

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